As I look forward to the coming year I have a sense of anticipation and some excitement about what lies ahead. I have been reflecting a fair bit recently on the truth that sometimes destiny comes to us with ease and little effort on our part whilst at other times destiny requires us to fight with all we have for it to be born. I don’t know what the rhyme or reason is behind that, but there it is.
Sometimes God’s kingdom and purposes unfold with little more required of us than to welcome them in. At other times we are called into the thick of the battle to pay a high price in the darkness and pain as we play our part in seeing God’s kingdom come. This is further complicated by our own inner struggles and pains which often form a battle field of their own. I don’t know why it sometimes happens one way and other times the other, all there is for me to say is that for now at least, I know a little of the one in whom I have believed and trust him to lead the way.
As I prepare to step onto the track that is 2014 I know that there will be times when destiny will come to me and there will be times when destiny will seem hidden and require a fight to the death to get to. For each of us we will probably have new responsibilities this year, new authorities and new opportunities opening up each week, if we dare to look. By this time next year I will be in a different city, with a new circle of friends; I will have been to new places, learnt, done and seen new things.
The other day I was talking with God about this and as I asked him for wisdom, the thought crossed my mind ‘wouldn’t it be amazing to have a download of everything I need to know in order to ‘do’ this year?’. That would be a sure way to cure some of my persistent anxiety – deep in my psyche is a mortal fear of making mistakes and not measuring up – knowing that I had the wisdom and knowledge I needed to get everything right would be great for that! But then, that would mean I could feel pretty self-sufficient, I’d feel like I didn’t need God quite so much… or others. Imagine living with someone like that?!
We quickly left that thought behind and I spoke about my dream of doing each day with him, getting to know him and letting him enter each situation. Imagine that, each situation would have Emmanuel there, present in the moment. I hope this year that God never leaves me, that I grow to know him and his ways; his unfailing love and infinite grace and in that place my fear of making mistakes loses its power and instead I find the freedom to run for the joy of it, this track that I was made for and that he made for me. It occurs to me that whether God’s plans unfold before me with ease or whether I find myself in the midst of battle, both are part of his plan and to navigate either one I need to stay close with him. So it all comes back to the same point, whatever life brings, wherever this track leads, the whys and wherefores are pretty irrelevant if we stay with him.
Happy New Year.