I don’t enjoy feeling powerless. I don’t enjoy the feeling that my destiny is in someone else’s hands. I don’t enjoy waiting. Feelings of frustration and impatience tend to rise, and anger and blame start to simmer ominously within. Over recent months and weeks i have to say these feelings haven’t been uncommon for me!
Its interesting being in full time Christian ministry within a Christian organisation. I don’t know what its like for others but i am currently coming to terms with the realisation that i often confuse my organisation with God. It probably sounds ridiculous, but sadly its true! Yet again this morning i realised that although i am following God’s call on my life for this current period of time, i had slipped into the trap of putting my trust in others for the way forward rather than trusting God. And once again the penny dropped as i sensed my feelings of frustration and powerlessness dissipate when i transferred my hope and trust from men, to God himself, the One who called me according to his purposes. And in this new place my spirit breathes again, hope rises and i know in the core of who i am that i will see all that God has promised, because of his grace and his life at work in and around me. In that place i know that he is watching over everything, to bring about his purposes.
I want to live each day and face each dilemma knowing and convinced that i belong to him, that his life is in me and he is working out his purposes, because ‘he who promised is faithful’.