A couple of weeks ago Derrick and I had the privilege of meeting up with some of our young team members who are battling to know what the right next steps are for them. It’s caused me to reflect on my own journey of working out the right path for my life at key points. These guys have been doing it hard as full time volunteers with no stipend or salary in a country where there’s no government support for people on low income. It’s understandable that they are reviewing their situation and questioning what they thought it was that God called them to.
It’s interesting, as i reflect on my own experience i think i see that whenever i am doing the things that God calls me to, i generally feel slightly out of my depth. Trusting God doesn’t seem to be a stress reducing course to take, on the contrary i realise now that by definition if i am trusting God i am not trusting in my own resources. Stress is when i feel like i do not have the resources to cope with my current reality.
As i am here in South Africa i feel energised, joyful, excited… but i am not sleeping well and when i take my eyes of God and rely on my own ability, the stress i feel escalates. I wonder if God doesn’t often call us into situations that we cant do without him, that way we get to know him, trust him and discover the real ‘us’ he made us to be.
Derrick and i encouraged the guys. God doesn’t change his mind or make miscalculations. Sometimes we don’t hear accurately, and we need to do our best to find out what he wants for us. And then we go for it, God is faithful and will never fail us, but there will be times when we need to patiently endure, to hold on as our frail sense of self gets put under stress as we live by faith and not by our own understanding and sight.
I want to learn to live this way, not to be discouraged when i experience the stress of living by faith but to hang on and keep trusting God anyway.