Recently a close friend of mine was sharing the deep desire in her heart to see more of God’s action in the lives of people around her, to see suffering eased, lives healed, families made whole and her city fulfilling its destiny. We used to pray together, a group of us friends, we’d gather and worship and ask God to heal our city; that same desire that my friend voiced this evening was what drove us then. It hasn’t turned out the way we expected. But God has been working and moving in and through us, refining us and calling our whole hearts and lives to him… yet the echo in our hearts is always ‘there must be more’.
There is a part of me that fears the deep desire for ‘the more’ because I don’t want to be disappointed, again. Yet that desire can help me keep my eyes open for the unexpected… but deep down I have my own expectations about how it should look when God acts, and therein lies the source of my disappointment. So I find I trip myself up again.
If faith is tuning in to God’s view of reality and living from there; embracing God’s unexpected. I want to join with Elihu’s prayer in the book of Job “that which I do not see, show me”. Only then will I perceive ‘the more’ that gave rise to the dream in my heart… and the hope that does not disappoint. I can whole heartedly expect suffering to be eased and lives made whole by Jesus, and still embrace him when he chooses to remain silent and withhold his hand from acting in the way that seems good to me.